So a week and a half ago I was at this career event cohosted by the two main universities in Zurich. Lots of seminars about different career paths, company dudes with posters and free swag, nerds running around in suits, the whole she-bang. Of course because it was organized by students, it was completely off schedule. It was approaching lunch time, and only one of the two speakers in the seminar I was attending had talked, putting it fully 20 minutes behind schedule, for what should have been a 30 minutes total talk. Also, I wasn’t so interested. I decided to subtly leave while they changed speakers, and score some free food. I wasn’t even the first person who had already done this, and she really had stopped talking, so it wasn’t so mean of a plan. The plan, however, failed.
This brilliantly designed University auditorium had for some reason decided to carpet the stairs and surrounding floor identically, making it tough to notice where one stopped and the other started. There were also two different sized stairs, interchanged freely. And, unbeknownst to me, (I don’t usually attend lectures there), there were two small stairs directly beside my chair.
So I grab my stuff and go to make a quiet exit. Totally missing the two stairs directly beside my chair. I slam my thigh into my desk, slide over the two stairs, spin around, stumble three steps across the aisle and avoid face planting, or taking out anyone seated at the other side of the aisle. I sighed, turned to the stranger I was sitting beside, said, smooth eh, and left.
In front of about 500 of my PhD peers. One of my coworkers saw, she said it was hysterical, and impressive I didn’t land on my face. She was also impressed with how coolly I walked out of the auditorium.
Of course I was walking briskly, afraid to look down and see how badly I had tore my pants or was bleeding. Luckily enough, neither of the above, though, this bad boy was taken one week after, and continues to shock and awe today. The ugly little sucker has a raised ridge of black coming through the yellow, and made my physio almost cry with laughter.